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How many ACLU members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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28th January 2009

ziggystarmod11:52pm: if someone insults your fashion sense....
if someone says "what are you wearing?". in that way, tell them you are wearing clothes presumably and ask them "what are you wearing, a marmoset and a shoestring?". it's the best anti-theft device around....
Current Mood: a bit of fry and laurie

9th October 2008

ziggystarmod10:29pm: re-animating a dead horse while nietzche gives me a lap dance
penguins are currently having tea microwave.
Current Mood: crazy

26th November 2006

foolinchrist3:14am: The Chronicle History of King Henry the Fifth with His Penis Holocaust at Agincourt in France: a Tale of the Christ

6th July 2006

gonzobserver1:40pm: Absurdity at the highest levels of Russian government!
MOSCOW, Russia (Reuters) -- Vladimir Putin's decision to stop a small boy as he walked through the Kremlin and kiss his stomach was prompted by a desire to "touch him like a kitten," the Russian president said on Thursday.

The five-year-old boy, identified as Nikita Konkin by the press, was clearly stunned by the kiss and speculation over Putin's motivation has run wild in the week since it happened.

Curious Internet users propelled the issue to the top of a list of questions put to Putin in an interactive Web cast. ( Watch Putin and the boy -- :45)

"People came up and I began talking to them, among them this little boy. He seemed to me very independent, sure of himself and at the same time defenseless so to speak, an innocent boy and a very nice little boy," Putin told the Web cast.

"I tell you honestly, I just wanted to touch him like a kitten and that desire of mine ended in that act."

The Izvestia daily, which tracked down Nikita, discovered that he had refused to wash after that kiss.

"I just liked him and he liked me very much. I want to be president myself," the five-year-old told the paper.

Putin was shown by state television chatting to graduates of military academies before he took a walk through one of the Kremlin's courtyards, often full of tourists.

He stopped and spoke to Nikita who turned away shyly. "What is your name?" Putin asked, kneeling down in front of the fair-haired boy and holding him by the waist.

"Nikita," the clearly shocked boy answered, looking from side to side.

Putin then lifted the boy's shirt and kissed him on his stomach. The Russian president then patted the boy on the head and walked off through a crowd of astonished tourists.

18th June 2006

ejgrgunner2:45am: Actual IM quote:
anonymous (2:23:22 AM): I'll grant the nipple smooching

15th June 2006

cweth2:26pm: when i was fourteen
When i was Fourteen, i wrote a letter to the Pope requesting that he grant me an official excommunication. Do i belong in this community?

14th March 2006

webbed_turtle9:57am: Persuasion

This is in response to the second to last entry.  Instead of saying who's mustache I think is better, I will show you all.
                                (Even at an old age, the mustache raged...)

Current Mood: geeky

3rd January 2006

ziggystarmod2:14pm: sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you feel like poking a straw through a marmoset!

moist towelettes are my favourite flavour of opossum.
Current Mood: blinky and somewhat fizzy

31st December 2005

gonzobserver5:07pm: I just realized that what I had thought was the Absurdity Now group postings on my friends page were, in fact, for the Objectivism group! Absurdity is stealthy in it infiltration of the mundane. And so I research, with jeweler's fob in each eye I stand across the room and look through the archives and see that little has been posted here in quite some time, and while it is all worthwhile just to watch the Bjork/Ditty icon until I laugh hard enough to cough blood which I use in creating a voodoo doll of myself, it would be interesting to see if any members herein are still active.

And so I pose question:

Whose mustache was the best: John Lennon, Groucho Marx, Salvador Dali, Hitler, Chaplin or Humphrey Bogart?

Think about it.
Current Mood: quixotic

21st November 2005

ejgrgunner3:06am: Curses to foolinchrist righteously posting ACLU propaganda in his own journal instead of here.
We now have a new community icon. Sometimes it crawls into laundry baskets and tickles its ears.

Sometimes it does not.

4th June 2005

ejgrgunner5:07am: Butterfly Effect wasn't wretched while stoned

LJMeme.com Crush Meme

Number of crushes on absurdity_now so far: 3

LJ username:

2nd June 2005


Army Has Invaded

Tell the world! Get the code here.

Good night now.

pea ez Is it wierd for someone not to masturbate?
Current Mood: cranky

1st June 2005

ziggystarmod9:33am: soft tacos own!
Current Mood: Smoke?

25th May 2005

ziggystarmod5:17pm: in other news...

13th May 2005

ejgrgunner10:43pm: The Phsyics and Philosophy of Mel Brooks
Ladies and gentlemen, I present the dumbest AIM conversation in the history of the world:Collapse )
punchsoda5:36pm: That's weird
If "I" comes before "E" except after "C," why is "weird" incorrectly spelled "w.e.i.r.d" and not "w.i.e.r.d?" Probably to enhance the word's weirdness or a blatant yet subliminal message that rules can be broken.

27th April 2005

cosmic_hiccup2:29pm: Your IQ is 82.182

Congratulations! Your Intellectual Type is Gardener With a Secret. To Lord and Lady Fotherington you may just be a hired help, but one day you will astonish the world.


ziggystarmod9:18am: Your IQ is 131.898
Congratulations! Your Intellectual Type is Potential Supervillain. Your friends already cower before your encyclopaedic knowledge of plumbing history and the mating rituals of the halibut. But with this gift comes great responsibility. Will you use it for good ... OR FOR EVIL?

take it
Current Mood: batty

26th April 2005

mighty_pirate12:58pm: Will Jim Fix It? Bets?

Dear Mr Saville,

I want to be an Ewok.
Can you fix it for me?

Yours effervescently,
Your greatest fan.

P.s: Let's have babies.


Only I can't find a god damned postal address! There's no Jimmy Saville fan club!!! This is an outrage! A darn tooting, orange & yellow, snotty nosed outrage!

Anyone who can find me a postal or email address for Jimmy Saville wins a get out of jail free card*.


*get out of jail free card not guaranteed.

25th April 2005

ziggystarmod10:46am: POP TARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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